The Cooking Class Catastrophe
by nibbler747
Summary: What happens when Amy wins tickets to a couples cooking class? It will be anything but smooth sailing! Shamy/Lenny during happy times (Season 8?). Happy light hearted story to soothe my angsty soul. One Shot.


Sheldon glanced at his cell phone. Amy had texted that she would be popping by this evening with some exciting news at 6 pm. It was now 5:58 pm. She should be arriving any minute. She was always delightfully punctual. He looked over at the couch. Leonard and Penny were sitting on the couch in a half comatose state watching TV…Food Network. They both watched a lot of Food Network for two people who rarely cooked

Sheldon heard Amy's distinctive rapping on the door. He jumped up and smiled when he looked at the time. It was exactly 6 pm, just as she had promised. Her punctuality was so endearing. He opened the door and she greeted him with a bright smile and a hug. She was holding a white envelope in her hands.

'Hi Guys!" she said cheerfully as she walked in and put her bag down beside the chair.

"Hi Ames" Penny replied sleepily, still staring at the TV

She sat down on the chair, while Sheldon made himself back home in his spot. "I have some exciting news, and it involves all of us!" Amy stated.

Leonard looked curiously at Amy, and then picked up the remote and turned off the TV.

"Hey! I wanted to see what they were going to cook using sea urchin, chocolate syrup, pomegranate and kale." Penny complained.

"Well…actually this does involve food." Amy said.

"Oh tell me, tell me! I can't stand not knowing" Sheldon said eagerly.

"Well you know how I listen to the CKCK radio station at work. Well they had a contest to name all the songs they played in a mix, and I won!" Amy said waving an envelope.

"Ooooh what did you win? Is it tickets to Physicist Lee Smolin's Lecture on Democracy and Science? I hear those tickets are a hot commodity" Sheldon said excitedly.

Penny gave Leonard a look of dismay. "Please kill me now" she whispered.

Leonard laughed and held Penny's hand. "Well, I don't know how Lee Smolin's lecture really relates to food Sheldon?"

"Well sometimes they have cookies and fruit at these things…" Sheldon's eyes went wide. "Is it Disneyland!? Churros! Mickey Mouse Pancakes! Dole Whip!"

Amy smiled. "No..no..you're getting way off base." She opened the envelope and held the four tickets and a letter. "I won four tickets to a Couples Night Cooking Class at the Garden Cooking School!" she exclaimed while waving the tickets.

Silence filled the room as Sheldon, Leonard and Penny all stared each other.

"Isn't it so exciting!" Amy burst out happily. Silence again filled the room.

"Umm….if I go out for the evening, I don't want to have to cook dinner also. Why don't the four of us just go out to a nice restaurant?" Penny said.

Amy frowned. "But this is better, it's interactive, and we'll be learning a new skill. I've heard that it's really fun."

Sheldon stood up, and went over to the fridge to get a drink. "New skills? Amy, you are already a wonderful cook. How about this? Counterproposal, Amy you come over here, and cook us all dinner. That way we will know the food will be good." Sheldon glanced at Penny. "…and hygienic."

"Hey, I'm hygienic! You're the one with the strong stomach…I've been surprised on more than one occasion that you didn't get sick after eating at the Cheesecake Factory." Penny grinned and then stuck out her tongue at Sheldon.

"What?!" Sheldon said alarmed clutching his stomach.

"Let's just say…I've seen things. You really shouldn't send your food back multiple times to people making minimum wage."

"Oh good Lord!" Sheldon said frantically as he walked over to a cupboard containing various medications. He started rifling through them, when Amy came over and touched his arm.

"She's teasing you" Amy said softly. "You're healthy as a horse."

"Amy! I could have a tapeworm! I look thinner don't I? I swear my pants feel looser lately."

Amy squeezed his hand and smiled. "Trust me, you're fine. I know my bestie…she's just teasing you to get a rise out of you."

Sheldon squeezed Amy's hand back as he felt the worry start to ease away. Amy always was the best at making him feel better. He gave her a little smile and then glanced over at Penny. She was smirking at him while sipping her tea.

"Well, I've always had a strong constitution." Sheldon announced loudly. "It's just part of being Homo Novus. Your freshman attempts at weakening me will be always be met with failure." Sheldon said haughtily.

"Says the guy who goes to the hospital for a paper cut" Leonard whispered to Penny.

"So the cooking class?..." Amy questioned again.

"I don't know Ames…cooking isn't my idea of a fun night out." Penny said. Amy frowned as she looked at the tickets laying on the coffee table. Leonard looked at Amy, and then picked up the letter. He read the letter over and smiled.

"This actually sounds kind of fun. It says we will make an appetizer, main and dessert. Then all the couples will dine together in a candlelit room, and a bottle of wine is included for each couple." Leonard grabbed Penny's hand. "I don't know…I think it sounds kind of romantic. Lady and the Tramp eating spaghetti kind of romantic…"

"Oh you would…" Penny laughed. Her heart warmed when she saw Leonard's sweet smile. "Oh alright, I'm in. You said the wine is included right?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes at Penny.

"Well that's one couple in. Sheldon?" Amy enquired with a hopeful smile.

Sheldon looked at Amy. She looked so excited about this couples cooking class, and saw that this would make her happy. When it boiled down to it, he wanted to make her happy. He gave her a little smile.

"Well I guess it would be educational…and I'm always up for education. Count me in also." Sheldon said, as Amy's face lit up.

"Great, this will be so much fun. I love doubling with our besties!" Amy exclaimed.

Sheldon walked back over to his spot and sat down. "So any chance we are making Yorkshire Pudding? I have so much information about this history of Yorkshire, and the history of pudding. Did you know pudding is believed to come from the Latin word botellus meaning small sausage also known as encased meats?"

Penny clutched Leonard's arm and gave him a pleading look. "Please kill me now!"

* * *

"What's with all the stuff? I don't think you need to bring anything to the class?" Penny enquired while staring at Sheldon. The group was entering the cooking classroom at the Garden Cooking School and Sheldon was wearing a heavily loaded backpack.

Sheldon snorted at Penny as they entered the kitchen. "I don't know to what standard they've cleaned their cooking utensils and appliances. I'm prepared for whatever they can throw at me" he said tapping his backpack. "Rubber gloves, new wash sponge, dish soap, knives, cutlery, a cutting board, first aid supplies, a scale, his and her aprons, lab coats, goggles" he said giving a nod to Amy who smiled back.

Amy leaned in towards Penny. "God, his preparedness is so hot" she whispered.

Penny shook her head and smiled. They stood near the entrance of the cooking classroom. There were eight work tables, each with different ingredients and appliances on them. On the other side of the room were various stoves and ovens. There were also about five other couples already in the room drinking wine.

"Oh Great! Two more couples have arrived" a small curly haired woman said as she rushed over to the entrance. "My name is Greta, I'll be your cooking instructor for the evening." She handed Leonard and Penny a booklet labeled "B" and Sheldon and Amy a booklet labeled "C".

"The booklets contains all the recipes and instructions for all the meals being prepared tonight. Group B please sit in the middle workstations, group C please sit on the right side of the room." Greta requested.

Sheldon frowned at the "C" on his booklet. "Why are we "C"? Why are we not "A"? You are dealing with two state of the art geniuses here. Surely there must have been some sort of mistake" he enquired.

Greta narrowed her brow. "A is the appetizer group, B is the main course group, and C is the dessert group. It's not to do with skill Einstein. Your table is there to the right" she said pointing across the room. "Try to get settled in right away, we will be beginning in five minutes." Greta walked away to speak with some other couples across the room.

Penny started flipping through the booklet "Maple Dijon Glazed Chicken and White Wine Risotto" she announced. She looked at Leonard and frowned. "This looks like a lot of work."

Amy flipped to the dessert portion of her booklet. "Chocolate Soufflé" she said.

"Hey why do we have to make two complicated dishes, and they only have to do one?" Penny complained.

"Probably because they are in the "C" group" Leonard joked.

"What is the "A" group making?" Sheldon replied angrily as he quickly flipped through the booklet. "Roasted Winter Vegetables?! That's remedial work if I ever saw it. Cut up vegetables, season, put in oven. This looks to be at your skill level. You two should definitely be in group A."

"Well we are in Group B. B is for Badass" Leonard replied with a smile.

"Or B is for just plain bad!" Amy laughed. She tugged Sheldon's arm. "Let's sit down before we get in trouble." She turned to Leonard and Penny. "Before we go, how about we put a friendly wager on who makes the better dish? Loser pays for all take-outs next week?"

"Deal!" Penny said confidently.

"Umm Penny…." Leonard said worriedly, flipping through all the pages of their booklet.

"Don' worry, with all the Food Network we watch..we got this." She bumped Leonard's fist and led them towards their workstation.

* * *

Sheldon and Amy sat down at their workstation, which had a large mixer, a dozen eggs, small chunks of chocolate, sugar and flour. Sheldon opened his bag and wiped the table and stools with his antibacterial wipes. He set the booklet down and then him and Amy sat down.

"You know, I'm kind of happy we got dessert. But not just for the obvious reason of sampling. Baking is the most scientific part of cooking. It requires careful exact measurements to ensure the correct reactions. Really it is chemistry at its tastiest" Amy stated.

Sheldon smiled as he considered Amy's words. "You are right. It is the most difficult of the three. It requires a certain precision if you will. One slight miscalculation, and the whole recipe will fail. I'm sure that's why they assigned us to group C." They huddled together and started reading their recipe booklet.

Greta walked over to Sheldon and Amy's table happy to see that they were carefully examining their recipe. She stood in front of the table. "Soufflé's sound intimidating, but they are quite straightforward if you follow the instructions carefully. Separate all the yolks from the whites, and make sure you don't get any yolk into your egg white mixture. Then beat the egg whites to stiff peaks. One member of your team can go melt the chocolate on the double boiler on the stove. When you get through those few steps, come find me, and I'll walk you through the rest." Greta walked off to the adjacent table to give them their instructions.

Amy washed her hands and then quickly started cracking the eggs and separating the egg whites from yolks in two separate bowls. Sheldon watched her in awe as her small hands separated the yolk, not getting one drop of it in her egg white mixture. Amy smiled up at Sheldon. "Do you want to beat the egg whites to stiff peaks?" she asked.

"Stiff Peaks? What is that?" Sheldon asked puzzled.

"Oh you know, when you beat egg whites, they turn white, and after a while they go kind of fluffy. When you lift your beater slightly they will leave a standing peak." Amy explained.

"Stiff Peaks sounds really subjective Amy. Baking is a science, we can't leave things to interpretation. I could have a somewhat runny egg mixture, and still be able to make a peak. Or I could beat it to death and get a peak that way. What we need is some sort of egg white viscosity test…"

Amy pondered his words. "I agree…the ability to reproduce test results with all variables exactly the same is a key element in scientific experimentation. Hmmm…that is an intriguing idea. We need to create some sort of "fluff test" or egg white fluff viscosity scale."

"Yes!" Sheldon exclaimed. "A scale is the perfect idea. Where runny unbeaten egg whites would be "zero" and egg whites beaten to death would be a "ten". We'll create a test to clearly identify egg fluff viscosity to see where it falls on the scale, forever solving this stiff peak mystery" Sheldon opened his backpack and pulled out the goggles, two lab coats, rubber gloves and his notebook. "Let's get started, I've got a couple of ideas for the experiment."

Amy sat down, and spied the ingredients left on an empty table. She looked up at Sheldon and whispered "I'll tell you one thing for sure…..I think we are going to need a lot more eggs."

* * *

Leonard finished making his maple Dijon sauce. He took his seasoned chicken breasts and put it on the very hot skillet. The oil started sputtering out.

"Ouch" Leonard yelped as a small spatter of oil hit his hand. He grabbed a lid and put it over the sputtering pan.

"Leonard, I lied….We don't got this" Penny said panicked.

Leonard walked over to see Penny trying to stir her risotto, she was straining as the risotto was providing a great amount of resistance. She finally gave up, and her wooden spoon was sticking straight out of the middle of the risotto completely stuck.

"Wow…that sure doesn't look right" Leonard said curiously looking at the stubborn wooden spoon.

"I know Leonard! I've been stirring and stirring it like the instructions said, but it's just turning into one sticky lump. I keep adding the stock, but it's just getting worse. It's starting to get burnt.." Penny said worriedly as she ladled another spoon full of stock into the risotto trying to unstick her wooden spoon.

Leonard picked up the recipe instructions and started reading them again. He looked curiously at the carton of stock beside the pot.

"Ummm…Penny? Isn't that stock supposed to be hot? Like I think you are supposed to heat it up before you put it in the risotto."

"What's the difference? It's going to get hot once I put it in the pan." Penny said frustrated. The risotto had turned into one large lump that she was moving around in the pan.

"I think that step might be important, or else they wouldn't put it in the instructions." Leonard said cautiously.

Penny shoved the pot to a cold burner. "Ugh..I think this risotto is a lost cause at this point. I just didn't want to lose to those mad scientists over there" nodding over to the right of the room.

"What?" Leonard said. He looked over at Sheldon and Amy. They both had their lab coats and goggles on. Amy was beating eggs with an electric mixer and Sheldon was setting up it looked like ten bowls of water on their workstation. "What are they doing? That sure doesn't look like chocolate soufflé?"

Penny laughed. "Oh haven't you learned….it's best not to ask when it comes to those two." Penny looked at Leonard wearing his knee length apron. She pulled on the straps of the apron…."You know…you look pretty cute in this thing. I think I could get used to seeing you in this…" she said coyly.

"Oh really….Well what if I was wearing only the apron and nothing else?" Leonard joked putting his arms around Penny's waist pulling her in.

"Oooh…then I might have to chain you to the stove" she whispered in his ear. Leonard pulled Penny into a kiss. He ran his fingers through her hair as he continued kissing her when he heard Penny moan something.

"Smth…bursling.." she moaned in the kiss. Then her eyes suddenly went wide as she gently pushed Leonard back. "Something's Burning!" she exclaimed.

Leonard quickly turned around to see black smoke coming from his pan of chicken.

"My Chicken! Dammit!" He ran over and moved the pan off the hot element. He opened the lid to reveal four now completely blackened chicken breasts. "Oh no…. I was just supposed to sear it lightly and then bake it at a lower temperature with the sauce. This chicken is totally burnt now…."

Penny looked at the four sad shriveled chicken breasts. "Well maybe just scrape off the burnt bits, throw the sauce on, and throw it in the oven. I'm sure it'll soften up in there. We'll just call it Cajun Maple Dijon Chicken"

Leonard scraped the chicken and put his sauce on it and tossed it in the oven. "I'm not sure that it's going to be too edible."

Penny smiled at Leonard. "Well, it's a good thing you're cute. Now where were we Dr. Hofstadter?" she said mischievously. She pulled him close to her and back in to their kiss.

* * *

"5.6 seconds" Sheldon exclaimed as he stopped his stopwatch on his phone when a glob of egg white fluff hit the bottom of his bowl of water. He popped a few pieces of chocolate in his mouth.

Amy recorded the value in the notebook. "That batch of egg white fluff was whipped for exactly 6 minutes straight. I think we've done it, we've completed our Egg White Fluff Viscosity Scale. Now we should be able to reproduce our results perfectly!" she said happily while munching a few more bits of chocolate.

"The falling sphere viscometer was a stroke of genius. It worked much better than the original Zahn cup idea."

"Well fluff doesn't really flow…so the Zahn cup idea wasn't working out too well. I think what we've come up with something that works perfectly."

Sheldon smiled at Amy. This cooking class had turned out to be a lot more fun than he had expected. It was fun running experiments with her as his cute lab partner. She had a little bit of chocolate on her fingers and a small smudge of chocolate on her lips. He started to reach out to her face –

"Oh my God!" a woman yelled out.

They turned around to see Greta standing in front of them with a shocked look on her face. Greta looked and saw at least fifty broken eggshells in a bowl, about ten different bowls of egg whites, and bowls of water everywhere with white goop in it. There was no chocolate soufflé in sight.

"What happened here? Why have you used so many eggs, and where is your soufflé? And why, may I ask are you both wearing goggles?"

"Well to prevent accidental egg white in the eye obviously" Sheldon shuddered. "Salmonella poisoning via the eye?...that sounds terrible."

"Your soufflé?" Greta asked again exasperated. "Everybody else's is already in the oven!"

"Oh well I am happy to announce, that for perfect stiff peaks, six eggs should be beaten at a speed of 8 for 6 minutes straight, and will drop from a height of 30 cm in 1 litre of water in 5.6 seconds. It's the Fowler Cooper Egg Fluff Viscosity Test" Amy said cheerfully.

"You mean the Cooper Fowler Egg Fluff Viscosity Test" Sheldon interrupted.

"Well, we are still working the title out" Amy smiled.

They both looked at Greta. "Patent Pending" they said in unison.

"Oh Lord…you do know you two haven't cooked anything yet! Well maybe we can quickly whip something together. Where is your chocolate?" Greta asked.

The three of them looked over at the almost empty bowl of dark chocolate bits.

"Umm….dark chocolate is considered brain food…." Sheldon said sheepishly while trying to lick the chocolate off his lips.

"This class is doing my head in today….completely burnt chicken, solid risotto…let me go to the supply closet and see if we have more chocolate." Greta muttered. She stalked off quickly to the other side of the room.

"Umm…it didn't sound like she appreciated our Viscosity Scale. I thought it was genius" Amy laughed.

Sheldon was staring at her with a serious look on his face. He tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear. "You know you have some chocolate on your lips, and hands…" he whispered.

"Oh really? Well you still have some chocolate on your lips. I remember though your reaction the last time I tried to wipe some jam off your face…"

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "Well that's because you tried to use your hands. Maybe you should use a different body part" he whispered in her ear.

 _BANG._ The room suddenly went pitch dark.

"What's going on?" a voice called out.

"I think the circuit blew for this room or something" someone else called out.

"Sheldon! That tickles! Mmmmm….that's nice." Amy's voice giggled.

"Oh God Leonard….where did you learn to do that?" Penny cooed.

"Yes….Just like that Amy…just like that" Sheldon said softly.

"Oh my Sheldon! Hoo!" Amy squealed.

 _BANG._ The room filled with light again. Penny and Leonard broke apart and stared over at Sheldon and Amy. She was sitting on their workstation, and he had one of her fingers in his mouth.

"Whaaa?" Penny exclaimed with wide eyes.

Amy and Sheldon both flushed red immediately. She jumped off the table and sat down. Sheldon immediately went back to his notebook and pretended to write something down.

Greta burst back into the room. "Sorry about that. Too many ovens on at the same time I think. I'm afraid I think this may have affected some of the soufflé's. Well those of you that completed your soufflé. " she said pointedly looking at Sheldon and Amy. "Could you please file into the next room. It's time to eat your creations."

Sheldon, Amy, Leonard and Penny all looked at each other worriedly. Never had they been less excited to eat a meal.

* * *

The two couples sat a candlelit table for four with two bottles of wine. The four burnt chicken breasts, the ball of risotto and a bright plate of winter vegetables were sitting on serving dishes in front of them.

Amy tried in vain to cut her chicken. "So who won?" she asked sawing away.

Penny snorted. "Well us obviously. At least we cooked something."

Leonard glanced at the food. "I don't know if I consider this a real victory…"

"Hey you can slice this risotto like meatloaf! Would you like a slice of risotto?" Sheldon asked offering a slice to Penny.

"I think I need a steak knife or something. This knife is dulling" Amy gasped as she continued trying to cut the chicken. "I should have packed my scalpel."

Greta approached the table and shook her head at the scene. Black Chicken, a risotto ball neatly sliced up into four pieces and no dessert. "I see you four are enjoying the fruits of your labour?"

The four friends gave Greta an embarrassed look.

Greta sighed. "Well the owner of the cooking school was very apologetic about the power outage, and how it ruined a few peoples soufflés. Not yours mind you since you never made one, but nevertheless…" She looked pained as she put an envelope on the table. "He requested that I give all the couples that attended tonight this." She shook her head and walked off.

"What is it?" Amy asked.

Penny grabbed the envelope and tore it open. Her face went pale as she read it.

"Well?" Leonard asked curiously.

"It's a complimentary cooking class for two couples" she croaked.

The table filled with silence as the four friends looked at each other.

"Howard, Bernadette, Raj and Emily?" Leonard said optimistically.

"Deal!" they all said unanimously and clinked their wine glasses laughing.

The End.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! All my previous stories were so angsty, so I thought I would try my hand at writing something cute and fun to soothe my soul after all the drama on the show lately. I hope you enjoyed it! As always, I always love and appreciate your reviews. Thanks!**


End file.
